I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
