I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
