why didn't you poke me back
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
