I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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