I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
