Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Did I show you my penis last night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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