why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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