pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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