Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
