you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
