Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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