This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
