you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
