The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
