Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
