sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
