loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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