bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
