I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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