if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
