that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
