we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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