She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
