Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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