I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
