That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
