90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
