You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
