Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
