dude i'm inner monologue high
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
