I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
