he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
