He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
