is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
