I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
