Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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