Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
