Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
