toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
