Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
try to milk me bitch
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
