Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
