worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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