I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
