Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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