You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
