It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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