I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
