Your dad touched me again.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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