Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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