There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
