Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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